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What AR Rahman and Saira Banu’s marriage teaches us about adjusting to vary, in line with a psychologist | Life-style Information

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When AR Rahman tied the knot with Saira Banu in 1995 by way of an organized marriage, the adjustment to life collectively wasn’t seamless. 

Reflecting on their early days as a married couple, Rahman as soon as shared on Rendezvous with Simi Garewal that his spouse initially struggled with the life-style modifications that got here with being married to a world movie star. “She is calm when she is calm. When she will get offended, she is offended,” he remarked, including, “Initially, she used to get annoyed. I imply, not going out… typically you possibly can’t exit for procuring.” He was requested if the wedding was an enormous “adjustment” for Saira and he stated, “I did inform her to start with what sort of life she goes to guide. She was in settlement earlier than.” 

Now, with the couple asserting their separation after practically three a long time of marriage, the main target turns to the realities of navigating important way of life shifts that marriage usually brings — be it relocation, altered routines, or merging priorities. For these embarking on this journey, understanding the way to handle such modifications is essential to constructing a robust basis.

Making ready for and handle the life-style modifications that marriage usually brings

Psychologist Anjali Gursahaney tells indianexpress.com, “It’s important to determine boundaries and sensible expectations early on. Earlier than marriage, have open and trustworthy conversations about your shared imaginative and prescient for all times.” Take into account whether or not their way of life aligns with each your consolation ranges and talk about the way it would possibly affect your privateness and day by day routines. Clear communication early on helps set sensible expectations for the long run.

Whether or not earlier than or after the marriage, Gursahaney stresses, {couples} counselling will be invaluable. “It affords an area to know every companion’s wants, deal with potential challenges, and discover a balanced method that works for each.”

Festive offer
Clear communication early on helps set realistic expectations for the future. Clear communication early on helps set sensible expectations for the long run. (Supply: Freepik)

She provides, “Talk about and agree on what points of your life you’re comfy sharing with others and what ought to stay non-public. Establishing these boundaries ensures that each companions really feel revered and safe of their private lives. Dedicate uninterrupted time to your relationship, free from work or public calls for. These non-public moments assist you to reconnect and nurture your bond, guaranteeing your partnership stays a precedence.”

Sustaining identities after marriage

Sustaining individuality is as essential as fostering a robust partnership, says Gursahaney. She suggests the next steps in doing so:

Respect Private Area: Encourage one another to pursue hobbies, profession targets, and friendships exterior the connection.

Have fun Every Different’s Successes: Acknowledge private achievements and assist each other’s ambitions.

Share Experiences: Create rituals or actions you possibly can get pleasure from collectively, balancing particular person development with shared reminiscences.

Align on Values: Often revisit shared targets and values to make sure you’re rising collectively whereas sustaining your distinct selves.



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