Many people might need felt the necessity to carry out our femininity with out even realising it. And we’re not alone. Even Bollywood actor and director Konkona Sen Sharma confesses to feeling equally.
In a current interview with movie critic Sucharita Tyagi, the acclaimed actor mirrored on the portrayal of femininity in Bollywood and the pressures of embodying “hyper femme” beliefs on-screen.
Identified for her versatility throughout 50+ movies, Konkona described her expertise performing in Aaja Nachle, the place she performed a historically female position, full with elaborate apparel and styling. She highlighted how Indian cinema usually requires feminine characters to evolve to exaggerated beliefs of femininity—like voluminous hair and delicate apparel—meant to enchantment to conventional magnificence requirements. This idealised model, she notes, is much less about pure identification and extra a few “hyper femme” assemble.
“It’s so normalised that we don’t realise its hyper-femme. The default for girls is a hyper-femme model of themselves. Like, particularly in India. Like hair, for instance. The hair is voluminous. Even the garments. You’re all the time catering to a notion,” Konkona stated.
In discussing how ladies are ceaselessly anticipated to current an idealised, fascinating self-image, Konkona referenced a thought by Margaret Atwood: the picture of oneself that girls current is commonly filtered by an invisible “male gaze.” The result’s a twin expertise for a lot of ladies, whereby they navigate the pressures of projecting female desirability whereas privately feeling indifferent from such hyper-feminised variations of themselves. For Konkona, and many ladies, this dichotomy turns into particularly pronounced at house, the place they embrace a extra pure, much less constructed model of themselves.
“That (male gaze model of herself) is a extra hyper femme model of myself. For me, I don’t really feel very feminine on a regular basis. Typically you’re simply impartial, otherwise you’re simply human, or no matter. Once I’m at house, my hair is rather like up on the facet, and even the best way I’m dressed. In movies, I’ve learnt that. It’s a layer I’ve placed on myself. , with hair, make-up and wardrobe,” Konkona added.
Counselling psychologist Priyamvada Tendulkar provides depth to this dialogue by emphasising the significance of unconditional self-acceptance. This concept encourages people to worth themselves as they’re, free from situations or {qualifications} usually imposed by societal expectations. For ladies particularly, this implies recognising that self worth needn’t be anchored in magnificence requirements or exterior validation. Priyamvada advocates for viewing oneself because the “main client” of 1’s life, asking questions like, “What would I love to do? What are my aesthetics? What makes me comfortable?”
Constructing relationships grounded in acceptance slightly than mere approval can additional help a way of intrinsic worth. After we search solely the approval of others, particularly when this approval aligns narrowly with look or achievements, we threat feeling lowered to mere objects of consumption slightly than people with company. Priyamvada encourages cultivating an inside circle that values us unconditionally, permitting us to really feel appreciated for what we obtain and who we genuinely are.
Recognising oneself as the first client of life’s experiences permits a extra fulfilling connection to at least one’s identification—one which transcends stereotypes and celebrates individuality. For ladies, this journey towards self-acceptance is a pathway to experiencing life totally, not as merchandise for exterior consumption, however as people embracing authenticity.
